For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

“While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as “Sleepy Joe” being so frequently unable to keep himself awake, they’re missing the larger point. Trump has once again started blazing a trail…”

There’s a hot new trend among conservatives, and you may want to get on it. In courtrooms and at Klan rallies all across the country, conservatives are switching from power naps…to fart naps.

Many might recall that in 2016, Donald Trump started the trend of white power naps — a period of twenty to thirty minutes wherein one simply closes one’s eyes and thinks of the ways they can make life harder on brown-skinned people. It was an update to the classic “power nap,” something many of Trump’s Wall Street and financial industry pals started doing in the 1980’s along with power lunches (and power destroying middle class purchasing power with Trickle Down Economics). So it should be no surprise to anyone that now, in 2024, Trump is once again setting trends in conservative sleep patterns.

For the last couple of weeks, people observing Trump’s hush money trial in New York have noted his tendency to fall asleep and fart during the proceedings. While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as “Sleepy Joe” being so frequently unable to keep himself awake, they’re missing the larger point. Trump has once again started blazing a trail, and we’re already seeing conservatives hop on the flatulating bandwagon.

Just last night, Fox News late night host Greg Guttfield devoted a full five minutes of his show to taking a fart nap. When you consider those five minutes could have been spent doing what his show usually does — making psychopaths think they have a sense of humor — one can easily see the enormous impact Trump’s fart naps have already had on conservative culture. And then there’s one of Greg’s former Fox News colleagues, Megyn Kelly.

Megyn was once famously trolled by Trump because he said she skipped moderating a debate he was participating in because she was bleeding from her genitals, implying she was bowing out because of her period. Some were perhaps surprised that a man who clearly has no idea where a clitoris can be found could have any knowledge of how women’s cycles work, but despite Trump’s insults, Megyn is clearly joining the fart nap trend because she spent her entire podcast this past Monday fart napping.

UPDATE: I’m told that Megyn didn’t fart nap on her show; it just always sounds like she’s farting when she speaks. My bad. Sorry, Meggy.

The real test of how deeply Trump has penetrated the zeitgeist of American conservatism will be if early adopters of public farting like Rudy “9/11” Giuliani will join in on the fun. We all know that Tooty Rudy loves his farts, but will he be willing to try out farting and napping at the same time? Only time will tell, but given how willing Rudy’s been to barnacle himself to Trump, it’s only a matter of time before we see him falling asleep and farting in an Arizona courtroom.

Have you joined the fart nap trend yet?

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