For many Americans, since the election’s results were called back in November, they’ve woken up each day to more and more evidence the country’s richest tech CEOs are in the middle of creating a deep, lasting relationship with Donald J. Trump’s perineum (known as the “taint” to many of us, “bonch” to quite a few, and “weld” to a select number as well).
We here at The Political Garbage Chute have become quite curious about the dynamics of this particular consortium of billionaires and their relationship dynamics. For now, it seems this is a throuple that has quite a bit of sexual chemistry, but when that fizzles out, they’ll still be in a power-sharing arrangement, and as rich, entitled white men, there is nothing that is more potentially fatal than the prospect of sharing. So when the spark of red-hot, bone-rock fuck action settles into a routine, and they get back to the business of loathing and being envious of each other, how can Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg share Trump’s taint; particularly when they can’t seem to share the social media landscape?
At least not without threatening to beat each other up.
Fortunately, we have a few well-placed contacts both at X and at Meta, and we reached out to them to get the scoop. Two of them responded to our requests for an interview, and we decided to pass along what they told us.
“I think right now the plan is for Elon to just put his head down, tongue-scrub that orange sexual predator’s cinnamon gap for as long as he can stomach it, and then use however many billions of dollars he gets the government to hand over to him via D.O.G.E. to wage lawfare against Zuck if and when their house of sociopathic cards tumbles over.”
“To be perfectly frank with you, I’m not sure what The ZuckerTron 2000’s programming states he’s to do in the event he no longer is sharing the job of polishing Donald Trump’s fudge stripe with Elon Musk. I know that his previous patches were more antagonistic toward Musk, but now that all three are going to be able to fleece Americans together? I think the Dev team’s gonna make him much kinder to Elon. I’m sure they’ll work it all out on their next Epstein Air flight together.”
Well, we may not have gotten to the bottom of anything today, but we did get a few minutes of your attention, and isn’t that what it’s all about?
Hint: That’s pretty much what it’s all about.
Wanna give us another 20 minutes of your time?
