“…ol’ Elon thinks and talks about transgender people’s genitals more than a surgeon who does gender confirmation surgery thinks about transgender people’s genitals before performing a gender confirmation surgery.”
If you ask the co-president himself, he’ll probably scoff at the question. After all, the “woke mind virus” is one of the reasons Elon Musk decided to buy himself access to the Oval Office in the first place. So asking him what his preferred pronouns are might not elicit a thoughtful, earnest response from America’s most recent oligarch.
So I asked his plastic surgeon, instead. And boy am I glad I did, because he was very willing to spill the tea, and now I can report with certainty what Elon Musk’s pronouns are.
“I checked his intake form, and right there under ‘Preferred Pronouns’ it shows he wrote in two words,” Dr. Benson Hornaydieux of the Nationalist Institute for Reconstructive Surgery and Apartheid Think Tank told me.
“It says ‘Closet Case.’ Which actually makes a lot of sense when you know the kinds of things he was mumbling about while under anesthesia.”
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We asked Dr. Hornaydieux what Mr. Musk’s pronouns mean, and he shrugged. He did, however, hazard a guess.
“He’s obsessed with trans people. Don’t ask me why, but he very clearly is,” Hornaydieux explained.
“Let’s just put it this way, ol’ Elon thinks and talks about transgender people’s genitals more than a surgeon who does gender confirmation surgery thinks about transgender people’s genitals before performing a gender confirmation surgery on a transgender person’s genitals.”
Are there any ways that Elon could work through his obsession and come out on the other side healthy, mature, and willing to let adults live whatever lives they choose to live? I asked the doctor. He assured me there are. But he’s not sure Mr. Musk will be “into them.”
“Well, he could go to therapy and work it out with a licensed professional who could maybe get him to the point of accepting who he is, and what he wants,” Dr. Hornaydieux told me.
“Or he can sleep with a transgender person, enjoy it as much as he was terrified he would, and then get the hell over his weird thing about trans people. Those are two easily achieved solutions for the literal richest man on Earth, but I’m not sure he’s into them.”
