Economic Models Project Which Red States Become Third World Countries After National Divorce

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Horse faced cave troll and Congresswoman Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) shocked many outside the far-right feedback loop when she suggested this week that Congress should consider a “national divorce.”

While the notion of amicably dissolving the union is nothing new in right-wing circles, perhaps it came as shocking to see Greene put the proposal in writing, given that she took an oath to defend the Constitution, which does not provide an “out” clause for states. However, as many scholars and pundits have noted, Greene can’t be faulted for not understanding a document she’s incapable of reading.

Regardless of whether Greene should be expected to understand the country’s founding document, we wanted to know what might actually happen if she got her way. What if American states broke up, according to who they last gave their Electoral College votes to? If “blue” states no longer had to give tax revenues to “red” states to keep them afloat, which of those red states would become third world “shit hole” states first?

We asked a panel of economists to give us their predictions.

Henrietta Jones

“Well, given that red states clock in around 29% of the country’s GDP, and blue states are at about 71% of it, I think you could see a handful of states go shit-hole right away. But for funsies, let’s say…Alabama becomes a third world country first.”

Phillip C. Moore-Hoffman

“Nine of the ten states that take more federal revenue than they give back are red, and the ten states that require the least federal subsidization are blue. In my mind, I think Arkansas will go third world first, because there’s no way a semi-porcine liar who only got elected because her daddy did the job first can do much to stop it from happening, except blame it on woke-ism or something dumb like that.”

Carol de Campana

“Nine of the ten states with the highest infant mortality rates are red states. Does it really matter which one becomes an official third world country first? Okay, fine, just put me down for…Florida.”


Mark McGee

“Considering there’s already a 40% higher murder rate in red states than in blue states, and how red states consistently rank at the bottom of every quality of life measurement we have, I’m confident in saying they’re already third world countries. Sorry to not play your game, though.”

@jamboschlarmbo Maybe #marjorietaylorgreene hasn’t thought the whole #nationaldivorce out too well. #satire #politics #political #politik ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

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