“…when he found out that the Fast and Furious movies are literally about a bunch of men doing drag, he sprung into action.”
Governor Ron DeSantis signed an official order today that bans the showing of any movie from the “Fast and Furious” film franchise within Florida’s state lines. Moments after DeSantis put ink to paper and made it illegal for the movies to be shown, Jeremy McMoron, a spokesperson in DeSantis’ office, spoke to us briefly about why this order was signed.
“This was probably one of the easiest decisions the governor has ever had to make. The simple fact is that Governor DeSantis believes that drag in all its forms is a dangerous influence on Florida’s children,” Mr. McMoron told us. “So when he found out that the Fast and Furious movies are literally about a bunch of men doing drag, he sprung into action, and told all of us he wanted those films permanently kicked out of the Sunshine state, and that’s what we did.”
According to McMoron, the governor may not be done banning drag.
“Governor DeSantis is keenly aware of how important it is to combat the forces of drag, wherever they hide. So we may yet see him ban dragging cans behind your car after you get married,” McMoron guessed, “and I would bet you might even see him force Floridians to call it ‘puffing’ instead of ‘taking a drag’ from your cigarette.”