Daenerys Targaryen – Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Mother of Dragons, The Unburnt, Breaker of Chains, Queen of the Andals, Assistant Manager at Taco Bell, the First Men Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, Certified Professional Accountant, and Lady of Dragonstone — issued a statement this morning strongly supporting the devastating air strikes carried out by Israel against Palestinians in the region.
Despite former President Donald John Mushroom Dong Trump’s claims to have secured a long-lasting peace in the Middle East, violence has erupted in and around Gaza for several days. Palestinian group Hamas has been firing rockets into Israeli territory, toward contested settlements, and in response the Israeli Defense Force has retaliated with brutal force. Over the weekend, an Israeli airstrike killed dozens of civilians when it struck a building that housed, among other things, a local office of the Associated Press.
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This morning, Queen Daenerys issued a statement supporting the level of force Israel has used in retaliation for Hamas’ rocket attacks. Though Israel has one of the most famous and successful missile defense systems in the world, known as the “Iron Dome,” their own strikes have done quite a lot of damage and killed multiple non-combatants. This, Targaryen said, is something she “really, really can sympathize with.”
“I, Daenerys Targaryen – Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Mother of Dragons, The Unburnt, Breaker of Chains, Queen of the Andals, Assistant Manager at Taco Bell, the First Men Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, Certified Professional Accountant, World Record Yo-Yo Champion, and Lady of Dragonstone offer my complete and full support of Israel’s vengeance,” Queen Daenerys proclaimed. “If anything, I would say my only disappointment is that they haven’t just straight-up melted Gaza into glass. For my tastes, I’m not sure the IDF has been quite ruthless enough.”
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Queen Daenerys expressed surprise that many people have criticized Israel for “going too far.”
“Does a ruler not have the right to lay waste to those who wrong them? When did the rules change,” Queen Daenerys asked rhetorically. “Quite frankly, if those civilians who were killed by Israel’s rockets didn’t want to die, they should’ve been born somewhere else.”
Targaryen even went so far as to offer to loan Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu some of her most lethal weaponry she has available to her.
“If Bibi wants to borrow one of my dragons, I’m sure they could be quite useful to someone as bloodthirsty as he is,” Targaryen said. “All he needs to do is ask. Wanton destruction and murder are perfectly legitimate ways to rule, if you ask me.”
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.
