Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me He’d Prefer If MAGA Kept the Him Out of Christmas

"What do they even need with me, when they have that sausage-fingered rapist they clearly worship more than me anyway?" - Jesus Hubert Christ Don't...

House Republicans Draft Bill to Retroactively Delete The Executive Branch From Constitution

Will House Republicans succeed in amending the government to delete the Executive branch?

Steve Scalise Not Sorry He Punched Nun In Throat

Steve Scalise doesn't believe in apologies. Ever.

Man Who Took More Than 125 Days Off Last Year Names The Real Moochers

Rand Paul and his fellow congress people took over 125 standard work days off last year, making him an expert on moochers.

Mitch McConnell To Create New ‘Titty Committe’ With Female Chair

Will Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell be able to get his new mammary-related committee off the ground?

Senate Environment Chair: “Climate Change, Schmimate Change, Let’s Frack The Grand Canyon!”

Will Senate Environment Chairman Jim Inhofe successfully get fracking started in the Grand Canyon?

Ohio’s Most Powerful Drunk Believed to Also Be Poisoning John Boehner

Is there someone else putting toxic chemicals into John Boehner's body?

Why The GOP Is Against Free Junior College (VIDEO)

Why is the GOP against free junior college? Ask this one.

5 Things Mitt Romney Should “Consider” Instead of Running for President in 2016 (VIDEO)

Ol' Mittens Romney-Bot is considering another run for president in 2016, but we think he should have other stuff on his mind.

Rep. Randy Weber (R-TX) To Propose Cloning Adolf Hitler

Is Rep. Randy Weber willing to go to great lengths to prove his Obama/Hitler analogy?

FBI To Start New ‘Republican Governor’ Special Task Force

With the rash of corruption in Republican governors' mansions these days, the FBI has been forced to create a special new task force.