Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

House Republicans To Propose ‘Sperm and Egg Production’ Bill

Forget abortion. Does one Congressman want to make pulling your pud illegal?

“Why I Should Be President” by Jeb Bush

Jeb Bush explains why he should be president after next year's election.

Paul Ryan: Lowering Minimum Wage to $0 an Hour Will Get 0% Unemployment

Speaker Paul Ryan has a radical new theory for how to encourage full employment -- completely eliminating the minimum wage.

“Why I’m Not Running for President in 2016 After All” by Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney explains his decision to not run for president.

John Boehner to Sue Obama for ‘President-ing While Not Republican’

John Boehner hates presidential overreach, unless it's done in the right way, by a Republican president.

Trey Gowdy Disappointed Chanting ‘Benghazi’ Three Times Doesn’t Make Hillary Clinton Appear

Trey Gowdy took time away from his Hogwarts class reunion to talk about his Benghazi probe.

Koch Industries- ‘We’re Just Looking For the Best Government Money Can Buy’

Money can't buy you everything; unless you're a Koch. Then, it pretty much can.

Reince Priebus On 2016: ‘F**k It, Let’s Make Ourselves Look CRAZIER Than 2012!’

Does Sarah Palin, Donald Trump and Mitt Romney all vying the GOP nod in 2016 worry Reince Priebus in the slightest?

Ted Cruz Says Female Ghostbusters Don’t Need Equal Pay

Ted Cruz isn't so sure female Ghostbusters need to get paid as much as their male counterparts.

Election 2016: Huckabee –10 Commandments in Classrooms Will Prevent Bullying and Cure AIDS

Does Mike Huckabee really think school prayer can stop school shootings? Does he really think the 10 Commandments can cure AIDS?