Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Some Americans Outraged Humans Once Treated as Property Outraged Enough To Destroy Non-Human Property

The Political Garbage Chute sent reporters out in the field to get various Americans' reactions to the Baltimore riots.

Mississippi Pastor: ‘We’re Bracing for the Nightmare of Adults Loving Other Adults!’

Gay marriage will bring about terrible things like love and compassion, according to one Mississippi man of the cloth.

“My Own Personal Thoughts on the Iran Nuke Deal” by George W. Bush (and Dick Cheney)

An essay on George W. Bush's own personal beliefs on the Iran nuclear deal, co-written by Dick Cheney.

New Scientific Study: Ted Cruz Thinks About Butt Sex More Than People Having Butt Sex

Just how much does Ted Cruz think about butt sex? Some folks in West Virginia tried to quantify it.

Ghost of Yemeni Civilian Drone Victim: ‘Obama’s Apology to Me Must Be Lost In The Mail Somewhere’

A civilian casualty in a 2013 American drone strike speaks about Obama's apology for a botched drone strike that left Americans dead.

Alabama Republican: ‘We Don’t Mind If You Smoke Pot, Just Don’t Smoke Pole Later’

The state senate in Alabama just moved one step closer to bringing more freedom to adults, just not the freedom to love whoever the hell you want to love is all.

Michele Bachmann: “Obama Brought On the Rapture, My IBS”

Besides the rapture, what else does Michele Bachmann blame Obama for?

5 Reporters Weigh-In On What Hillary’s Post-Chipotle Burrito Farts Smelled Like

Hillary Clinton made waves by ordering a burrito, but what about the aftermath of said burrito?

Washington Man Smokes Legal Weed, Nothing Really Happens

One man in Washington state smoked legal weed recently, and what happened next may shock and surprise people...who have never tried pot.

Mike Huckabee: Americans Should Hold Off On Inhaling Oxygen Until Obama’s Gone

Mike Huckabee doesn't want your kids serving in a tolerant military, and he may not want you breathing gay air.