Totally Bulls*it News

Stephen Miller Wants Trump to Buy Greenland, But Only If It’s Renamed “Whiteland”

"It has a super-cool ring to it, doesn't it? And it's very aspirational for MAGA voters." - Stephen Miller, White House Adviser & Bald...

New Scientific Study: Ted Cruz Thinks About Butt Sex More Than People Having Butt Sex

Just how much does Ted Cruz think about butt sex? Some folks in West Virginia tried to quantify it.

Ghost of Yemeni Civilian Drone Victim: ‘Obama’s Apology to Me Must Be Lost In The Mail Somewhere’

A civilian casualty in a 2013 American drone strike speaks about Obama's apology for a botched drone strike that left Americans dead.

Alabama Republican: ‘We Don’t Mind If You Smoke Pot, Just Don’t Smoke Pole Later’

The state senate in Alabama just moved one step closer to bringing more freedom to adults, just not the freedom to love whoever the hell you want to love is all.

Michele Bachmann: “Obama Brought On the Rapture, My IBS”

Besides the rapture, what else does Michele Bachmann blame Obama for?

5 Reporters Weigh-In On What Hillary’s Post-Chipotle Burrito Farts Smelled Like

Hillary Clinton made waves by ordering a burrito, but what about the aftermath of said burrito?

Washington Man Smokes Legal Weed, Nothing Really Happens

One man in Washington state smoked legal weed recently, and what happened next may shock and surprise people...who have never tried pot.

Mike Huckabee: Americans Should Hold Off On Inhaling Oxygen Until Obama’s Gone

Mike Huckabee doesn't want your kids serving in a tolerant military, and he may not want you breathing gay air.

5 Things Ted Cruz Hated About the “Star Wars” Trailer

Senator Ted Cruz tells The Political Garbage Chute five things he did NOT like about the new Star Wars trailer.

Hillary on 2016: “I’m the ‘Not a Republican’ The Country Wants”

Hillary Clinton is out and about, extolling the virtues of her candidacy.

Ted Cruz: U.S. Calls ‘Dibs’ on Mars’ Water Supply, Will Charge Rest of Galaxy For Access

Scientists have found the first evidence of liquid water on Mars, and Senator Ted Cruz calls "finders/keepers."