Totally Bulls*it News

Greenlander Would Rather Not Lose Universal Healthcare to Join “Shit Hole” Country

"Why would we want to join a shit hole country that doesn't even give us basic human health services like every other developed nation?" When...

Fox Hosts Remind Viewers Not Every Holocaust, Rape Victim Victim ‘Was a Saint’

Fox News Hosts Remind Viewers Not Every Holocaust Victim 'Was a Saint'

John Boehner: SCOTUS Should Do ‘The Right Thing and Kick Cancer Patients Off Their Insurance Over Semantics’

Rep. John Boehner says that Obamacare should be gutted by the Supreme Court because it's "the right thing."

Pope Francis: ‘Dick Santorum Should Leave Christianity to the Christians’

Pope Francis fires a salvo at Rick Santorum in the latest episode of their feud over climate change,

Scott Walker Explains Support for Banning Same-Sex Marriage: ‘I’m a Dick’

Scott Walker believes in nullification for the sake of oppressing all those uppity gays. His reasoning may surprise you.

Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #410

How many of YOUR guns did Obama take away this week?

Paul Ryan: May Jobs Report With 280k New Jobs Proves ‘Obamunism’ Doesn’t Work

The May jobs report from the Department of Labor shows 280k new jobs were created, prompting Paul Ryan to condemn "Obamunism."

Ted Cruz Apologizes for Joe Biden Joke; Still ‘Totally Cool’ With Past Douchiness

Ted Cruz further responds to criticism about his ill-timed joke at Vice-President Biden's expense.

Rick Perry Gets In Line Expecting Sandwich, Winds-Up Running for President Too

Rick Perry was just looking for a bite to eat, but he decided to run for president while he was at it.

Rick Santorum Wants Oscar the Grouch To Stop Commenting on Garbage

Rick Santorum has a message for another celebrity he wants to pipe down on the talking about the environment and the what-not.