Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Texas Gov. Abbot: ‘Constitution-Shmonstitution, No Gay Marriage In Texas Dagnabbit!’

Texas' Gov. Abbot might be a lawyer, but his constitutional knowledge? Well...

Ted Cruz Literally Explodes After Obamacare, Gay Marriage Decisions

The Texas demagogue was found in his hotel room, or at least what was chemically identifiable as Ted Cruz was found in his hotel room.

AMA Issues Warning About ‘Republican Butt-Hurt’ Epidemic After Obamacare Ruling

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A spokesman for the Amiercan Medical Association has...

WalMart To Stop Selling Confederate Flags And Roll-Out ‘Racist A-Hole’ Merchandise Instead

Need a Confederate Flag? Might wanna look somewhere besides Wal-Mart.

Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #412

How many of your guns did Obama threaten to come and personally melt down after the terrorist attack in South Carolina?

After 14th Mass Shooting in His Presidency, Conservatives Outraged Obama Mentions Guns

American conservatives were outraged that after the 13 mass shooting Obama has had to address, that he mentioned guns after the 14th.

Cops: Dylann Roof Being White and Armed ‘Key’ To Arrest, Not Summary Execution

Dylann Roof, the alleged South Carolina church shooter has been apprehended, against all modern police training and tactics.

Has Anyone Seen Donald Trump’s REAL Hairline?

It's time that Donald Trump stop hiding and reveal his long-form hairline.

Conservatives Stunned By Racially Motivated Crime in Post-Racial America

The recent shooting in South Carolina has left some conservatives confused as to how a racially-motivated crime can happen in a post-racial country.

Colorado Supreme Court Rules Employees Can Be Fired For Post-Work Beer

The Colorado Supreme Court has revamped its previous ruling on whether employers can fire employees for off-hours vice consumption.