Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

White House: Obama Worried ‘Not Enough Time Left’ To Confiscate All Guns

Just how long until Obama can give his order to confiscate all guns in America?

Strapped for Campaign Cash, Rand Paul Shares Mark Zuckerberg Facebook Status

Rand Paul is hoping Mark Zuckerberg can save his dying campaign.

Ted Cruz Backs Constitutional Amendment Repealing Women’s Suffrage

Ted Cruz feels the only way to get Roe v. Wade off the books is to get women out of politics, literally.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #359 – Christmas Eve Edition

A festive, holiday-inspired rundown of Obama's Gun Confiscation count.

Santa Claus Asks Gun Owners to Stow Weapons Before He Comes

Santa Claus has released a statement asking gun owners to safely stow their weapons before he delivers presents to their children.

Gun Enthusiast Rushed to Hospital With Groin Injury

This particular gun enthusiast met an untimely fate, all because he couldn't keep his gun, or himself, in his pants. Sad.

We Asked These 2016 Presidential Candidates What They Wanted for Christmas

Find out what your favorite candidate wants for Christmas here!

Town Republican Has Figured Out How to Vote for Trump and Not Hate Himself

One man has figured out how to vote for Donald Trump and not compromise his scruples.

Ohio Republican Wants to Create Uterine Registry

One Republican says a new proposed law in Ohio that would force women who have abortions or miscarriages to bury or cremate the fetus doesn't go far enough.

Trump Starts Bashing Hillary with Crude Stick Figures

Donald Trump unveils a new way to talk trash on Hillary Clinton -- stick figures.