Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Texas Gov. Abbott Asks for ‘Mulligan’ on The Constitution

Greg Abbot, Governor of Texas, is tired of those fancy-pants judges telling Americans they have the same rights as other Americans.

Anti-Vaxxer Outraged Mark Zuckerberg and His Wife ‘Listened to Common Sense and Science’

One man is incensed at Mark Zuckerberg for protecting his daughter against life-threatening disease.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #361 – Executive Order Edition

Obama's Gun Confiscation count, tabulated especially after his new gun control executive orders.

3 Recipes From Gov. Rick Snyder’s Charity Cookbook of After School Snacks

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder has a new charity recipe book out.

Wayne LaPierre Gets Choked Up About Guns Not Sold After Failed Background Checks

NRA Vice-President Wayne LaPierre emotes about gun sales.

U.S. Capitalist Economy, Pummeled by Obama’s Communism, Gains 290k+ Jobs in December

The December 2015 Jobs report is out, and it has Republicans worried that Obama's communism will never be contained.

Toddler NRA Member: Who the hell is Obama to say I shouldn’t have a gun?

One little boy is really mad that Obama thinks he's not ready to handle a firearm.

GOP Congressman Wants to Investigate Connection Between Benghazi, Planned Parenthood

After voting to de-fund Planned Parenthood, one congressman thinks there might be a connection to it and Benghazi worth investigating.

5 Reasons I’m Pretty Sure Ted Cruz’s Dick Smells Like Fried Snack Pies

I'm pretty sure Ted Cruz has a thing for fried pies. A gross thing.