Totally Bulls*it News

Greenlander Would Rather Not Lose Universal Healthcare to Join “Shit Hole” Country

"Why would we want to join a shit hole country that doesn't even give us basic human health services like every other developed nation?" When...

Shooting Incident Survivor Admits Getting Shot ‘No Biggie’ Since He Didn’t Die

Can someone really claim to be a "shooting victim" if they were only shot, but not killed?

Texas Gov. Abbott Asks for ‘Mulligan’ on The Constitution

Greg Abbot, Governor of Texas, is tired of those fancy-pants judges telling Americans they have the same rights as other Americans.

Anti-Vaxxer Outraged Mark Zuckerberg and His Wife ‘Listened to Common Sense and Science’

One man is incensed at Mark Zuckerberg for protecting his daughter against life-threatening disease.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #361 – Executive Order Edition

Obama's Gun Confiscation count, tabulated especially after his new gun control executive orders.

3 Recipes From Gov. Rick Snyder’s Charity Cookbook of After School Snacks

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder has a new charity recipe book out.

Wayne LaPierre Gets Choked Up About Guns Not Sold After Failed Background Checks

NRA Vice-President Wayne LaPierre emotes about gun sales.

U.S. Capitalist Economy, Pummeled by Obama’s Communism, Gains 290k+ Jobs in December

The December 2015 Jobs report is out, and it has Republicans worried that Obama's communism will never be contained.

Toddler NRA Member: Who the hell is Obama to say I shouldn’t have a gun?

One little boy is really mad that Obama thinks he's not ready to handle a firearm.

GOP Congressman Wants to Investigate Connection Between Benghazi, Planned Parenthood

After voting to de-fund Planned Parenthood, one congressman thinks there might be a connection to it and Benghazi worth investigating.

5 Reasons I’m Pretty Sure Ted Cruz’s Dick Smells Like Fried Snack Pies

I'm pretty sure Ted Cruz has a thing for fried pies. A gross thing.