Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

GOP ‘Stoked’ Civil Debate Let Viewers See How Disgusting Their Ideas and Not Their Candidates Are

The latest GOP debate gave Republican a chance to showcase how terrible their ideas, and not just their candidates, are.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #371

Did Obama's Gun Confiscation ensnare your freedom cannon?

Ted Cruz to GOP Voters: ‘Think of me as the lesser of two diarrheas’

Ted Cruz knows he's not the most loved, but he wants to be the second-most hated.

Proud Gun Owner Mom in Tense Mexican Standoff With 3rd Grader

A woman and her young child are in a Mexican Standoff over snack time.

Marco Rubio Stops by WalMart on the Way Home for Job Application

Marco Rubio is going to need a new job after this November.

Woman Who Was in Elementary School in the 60’s: Bernie Sanders’ Civil Rights Arrest ‘No Big Deal’

One Hillary supporter thinks Bernie Sanders being arrested as part of a civil rights protest is a big "whatever."

Reince Priebus Interviewing Primates to Fornicate With Footballs In Lieu of More Primary Debates

GOP chairman Reince Priebus has a new idea to distract voters from how terrible his party has become.

Republican Voter ‘Majorly Turned Off’ by Lack of Genital Talk, Booger Eating in Dem Debate

One Republican voter tells us why the lack of genital talk in the Dem Debate made it a total borefest.