Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

House Republicans Will Investigate Link Between American Cruise Ship in Cuba and Benghazi

An American cruise ship in Cuba means a headache for House Republicans.

Republican Voter Admits He Feels ‘Stuck Between a Douche and Another Douche’

A Republican voter can't decide between his party's two top presidential candidates.

Real Zodiac Killer, Tired of Comparisons to Ted Cruz, Reveals Himself

The Zodiac Killer is tired of being compared to Ted Cruz.

Donald Trump Announces His VP Pick — Donald Trump

Donald Trump has a unique choice in mind for his VP, and his name is Donald Trump.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #378

How much freedom did Obama's Gun Confiscation cost Amurika this week?

Lucifer ‘extremely pissed’ John Boehner compared Ted Cruz to Him

Not everyone was tickled with John Boehner's comparison of Ted Cruz to Satan.

North Carolina Cisgender Woman ‘Tired of Shitting With an Audience’

A woman in North Carolina laments unintended consequences of HB2.

Exclusive! Donald Trump’s Cabinet Candidates Leaked!

A leaked list of Donald Trump's cabinet candidates.