Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Gets Go-Ahead From Putin To Make Steve Bannon His Official Co-President

Thanks to Russian President Vladimir Putin giving the approval necessary, Steve Bannon is now officially the Co-President.

Trump Offers ‘Swedishland’ His ‘Deepest Pussy Grabs And Condolences’

President Trump offers sympathies to Sweden in his own, unique, purely Trumpian way.

CIA Warns More Fictitious Terror Attacks May Be On The Way

Newly confirmed CIA Director Mike Pompeo has a grave and dire warning for all Americans in regards to fake terror attacks.

13 Year Old Trans Boy Thinks Milo Yiannopoulos Is A ‘Totally Creepy Perv’

A young trans boy wrote a scathing letter to the editor blasting the hypocrisy of Milo Yiannopoulos championing sexual assault of minors.

Senate Confirms Billionaire Fox As Secretary Of Hen House Defense On Mostly Party Lines

As the Senate confirms another of his cabinet picks, Trump's administration is starting to really take shape.

Trump To Sign Executive Order Declaring Civil War “A Tie” And Mar-A-Lago The Official Southern White House

Can Sub-President Trump rechristen his Florida compound as The Southern White House?

White House Issues Details On ‘Person Of Interest’ In Swedish Terror Attack

The Trump/Bannon White House has issued an alert looking for a person of interest in the deadly attacks in Sweden.

Having Already Made America Great Again, Trump Begins 2020 Campaign In Florida

Co-President Trump is getting a four year head start on his re-election bid with a rally near his "Southern White House" in Florida.

Sean Spicer: “President Putin Also Believes The White House A Finely Tuned Machine”

Sean Spicer, Donald Trump, and Russian President Vladimir Putin all agree: The Trump White House is a fine tuned machine.

Trump Orders First Amendment Revised To Protect “Freedom Of The Friendly Press”

Maybe the Constitution doesn't currently protect it, but Sub-President Trump really wants the First Amendment to only cover the friendly press.