Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Stephen Miller Really Wants To Know Where His Precious Is

Where is his precious? He must know where his precious is! Won't you please help White House Senior adviser Stephen Miller find his precious?

VP Pence Suggests Tearing Down Wall Between Church And State And Using It To Build The Border Wall

If you ask Mike Pence, the wall separating church and state in this country could be dismantled and put to much better use.

Trump Supporter Confused That Going Without New Cell Phone Didn’t Stop His Pancreatic Cancer

This local Trump supporter is confused as to why his cancer won't stop spreading even though he's not getting a new iPhone.

HUD Secretary Ben Carson Wants To Fix Homelessness By Calling The Homeless ‘Hobos’ Again

Tackling homelessness is the job of any HUD Secretary. Ben Carson has some unique and special ideas for that particular challenge.

President Trump Honors International Women’s Day With Rose Garden Pussy Grabbing Ceremony

President Trump held a very special ceremony in the White House Rose Garden to honor International Women's Day, and he ended it with a flourish.

Alternate Universe Report: GOP Not Concerned With Clinton’s Attorney General Lying About Russian Meetings

In an alternate universe, Republicans would really be just fine with Russian collusion with President Hillary Clinton's team.

Confused Trump Doesn’t Know Where “S.B.” Monogrammed Presidential Towels Came From

Co-President Donald Trump found some new monogrammed towels in the bathroom at the White House and he wants to know where they came from.

Ben Carson’s Niece Repeatedly Refers To Him To Her Friends As “Tom”

While introducing him to her friends, Ben Carson's niece accidentally called him by another name...over and over and over again.

Trump Proposes Calling Obamacare “Trumpcare” To Fix Healthcare Woes

Co-President Donald Trump's idea for fixing Obamacare might raise eyebrows, but it's almost sure to get his supporters behind the law.

Jason Chaffetz Asks Doctor If Friend’s Cancer Can Be Treated With An iPhone

Republican Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah recently said that poor people may have to choose between an iPhone and their health insurance.