Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

President Trump Releases List of Things He’d Do Differently During Government Shutdown

He may not have any idea how to govern, but Donald Trump certainly knows what he'd do during a government shutdown.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Threatens To Stamp His Feet, Hold His Breath Until Congress Rips Healthcare From The Poor

Donald Trump knows that the fight over healthcare just needs his own unique brand of totally mature and nuanced negotiation.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President Trump Wants D.C. Memorial to Andrew Jackson’s Leadership During World War II

Only true historical scholars like President Donald Trump truly understand the permanent impact Andrew Jackson has on a daily basis on the American people.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Historians Have Found Andrew Jackson’s Civil War Diary, and We Have an Exclusive First Look!

In a rare, historical scoop, the Civil War diary of former President Andrew Jackson has been discovered and the details might just surprise you!
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Sean Spicer: Obama Administration Didn’t Fully Vet The People Trump Hired

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer believes the Obama administration did a terrible job vetting people for the Trump administration to hire.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Unveils New 2020 Campaign Slogan: “Make the Confederacy Great Again”

President Trump is already campaigning hard for re-election, just barely 100 days into his first term, and he's unveiling a new campaign slogan to boot.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Administration Planning ‘Really Bigly Yooge’ 100th Round of Presidential Golf Celebration

President Donald Trump has been in office 100 days now, but he's got his sights set on a much more important milestone, in his eyes at least.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Christ Reads Transcript of Trump’s NRA Speech to Children of Sandy Hook Massacre

While President Trump gave his speech to the NRA, Jesus "Hubert" Christ translated and read it to the young victims of the Sandy Hook Massacre.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Alex Jones Loses Custody of Crisis Actors Who Were Playing His Kids

Right-wing firebrand Alex Jones lost custody of both his real kids and the actors he hired to play his kids for any false flags he wanted to stage.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Betsy DeVos Wants Tithing Plates to Replace Public School Fundraisers

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has a unique and new idea for helping struggling schools to make a little extra money for extracurricular activities.
James Schlarmann -
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