Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Twitter Says Babylon Bee Can Have Its Account Back When It Switches from Hate Speech to Satire

Alleged comedic website The Babylon Bee had access to its Twitter account temporarily...

Florida Nun Unsure If She’ll Be Arrested After Teaching Students About the Immaculate Conception

"It's tough for me to know, legally speaking, if discussing statutory...

Petition to Send MTG to Ukraine So She Can Help Putin Reaches 4 Billion Signatures

Freshman Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene recently appeared on Facebook Live to...

Senator Accidentally Inserts Hot Stock Tip Into Text of Daylight Savings Bill

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A hot stock tip was accidentally inserted into...

Op-Ed: We Need to Leave Our Confederate Statues in Place, But Never Talk About Why They Exist

The following editorial was written and submitted by Floriduh Governor Ron...

In Potential Fight Between Putin and Musk, Most Rooting for Simultaneous Spontaneous Combustion

This week, billionaire and terminally online Twitter troll Elon Musk challenged...

Fox News No Longer Gives Anchors Choice of Being Paid in Dollars or Rubles

For years, Fox News has given its top anchors a choice...

CEO Blames Inflation for His 400% Bonus This Year

In late March of 2020, Ener-Go Enterprises shut down the majority...