Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Says Democrats Can ‘Just Switch’ To Republicans and Not Get Bombed

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, several suspicious packages containing devices that...

Elon Musk Officially Trademarks ‘Elon Musk Offers to Buy And Then Delete’ Meme

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire tech guru and possible cartoon...

Huckabee Sanders Wonders If Bomb At Soros Home ‘Really As Bad’ As Her Being Shouted At In Public

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Outside the White House this morning, Press Secretary...

Midterm Voters Anxious to Take First Steps Toward Ending State of National Emergy

The results of a new poll we conducted with the help...

Trump Warns His Enemies Not to Interfere in Midterms by Voting for Democrats

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With just a matter of days left before...

Most Americans Still Unclear Where Benghazi Is

America -- Despite Republican successes in national and local elections in the...

OJ Simpson Tells President Trump He Believes Saudi Arabia Didn’t Kill Jamal Khashoggi

MATA TODOS, NEVADA -- Former NFL star and ex-convict OJ Simpson...

Trump to Apply ‘Natural Instinct for Science’ and Personally Rewrite School Curriculum

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Planning to bring his "natural instinct for science"...