Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Hitler’s Finally Starting To Get The Comparison

THE CHENEY WING, HELL -- Some on America's left have routinely...

Trump Wants Statue of Liberty Torch Outfitted With Tear Gas Launcher

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Leading up to the 2018 mid-term election --...

Trump Had Special Presidential Crayons Made For Answering Mueller Questions

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For months, FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller has...

Hillary Clinton Is Circling Ivanka Trump’s House Shouting “Lock Her Up”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Authorities and eyewitnesses close to the situation are...

Turkey Passes On Pardon From Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for...

Donald Trump Models Wildfire Prevention by Raking White House Lawn

Washington D.C. -- President Donald Trump, fresh on the heals of...

Retailers Report Sharp Decline in Post-Halloween Democrat Disguise Sales

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The National Retailers Consortium, one of...

Trump Jr. Tells Mueller He’ll Roll Over on ‘The Actual U.S. President’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This morning, President Donald Trump unleashed...

Trump Says He Gave Stan Lee Inspiration For His Iconic “SuperSpiderHulkThing” Character

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, the comic book world lost one of...