Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Court Filings Reveal FBI’s Code Name for Don Jr: Individual-IQ-1

BENEDICT, NEW YORK -- Last week, court filings in FBI Special...

Trump Hotels Will Start Offering Fine Smocked Salmon and Other Meats Starting in 2019

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Donald Trump Jr. announced today that...

Remington Introduces New Smocking Gun Marketed to Painters and Traitors

MADISON, NORTH CAROLINA -- One of the world's leading firearms manufacturers...

Internet Evangelical Christians Publishes ALL CAPS Bible

Topeka, KS -- In effort to proclaim that 'Kingdom of Heaven...

Individual-1 Sent Urgent Message To David Dennison, John Barron, Donald Trump, and President of Puerto Rico

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Authorities are reporting that within the last several...

White House: Frantic, Raving, Unhinged Tweets Prove President Trump Is Not Panicking About Mueller Report

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Deputy Jr. Press Secretary Tom Thompaulsen...

Trump Promises Supporters He’ll Never Die ‘Like That Cuck Bush’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite prior tensions between the Bush family and...

Tomi Lahren Outraged at Santa Claus’s 23andMe Results

CAJA DE DIABLA RUBIA, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributor Tammy Lahren...

Former President George Bush Reassured Several Times He’s Not Dead Yet

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Friends, family, and longtime aides to the Bush...

Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's a day that many in this country...