Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Says He Saw ‘Hundreds of Thousands’ of White Hoods at El Paso Rally

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite local El Paso fire department officials denying...

On Lincoln’s 210th Birthday Trump Puts Jefferson Davis on Flip Side of Penny

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today marks Abraham Lincoln's 210th birthday, and President...

MAGA Boy Pretty Sure He Can Insult His Way into AOC’s Stupid Commie Pants

RICCI RIVER, NEW JERSEY -- If there's one thing that 35...

South Park Creators to Produce Jade Helm 2020: The Musical

Los Angeles, CA -- South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey...

Liam Neeson On Shortlist for Trump’s Chief of Staff

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Chief of Staff position in the Trump...

Trump Promises Mexico Will Pay for His Executive Time

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Days ago, Axios reported that President Donald Trump spends the...

Trump Tells Secret Service to Investigate Pelosi’s ‘Threatening Sarcastic Clapping’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, President Donald Trump gave the second...

Weezer Will Drop Album Full of Music Recorded by Other Artists Late This Year

CUOMO RIVER, CALIFORNIA -- Rock band Weezer is set to release...

We Obtained a Leaked Transcript of Trump’s State of the Union

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Through a completely unforeseen chain of events, this...

Trump Still Memorizing State Names Ahead of SOTU Address

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources in the White House are indicating that...