Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Doctors Marvel at Discovery of Vertebrate Republican

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the weekend, scientists and medical professionals were...

Alabama Rape Victim Uses Legally Obtained AR-15 to Perform Own Abortion

LAGO DEL DESESPERACIÓN, ALABAMA -- In March, 28 year old nurse and...

Alabama Rape Victim Uses Legally Obtained AR-15 to Perform Own Abortion

LAGO DEL DESESPERACIÓN, ALABAMA -- In March, 28 year old nurse and Alabama...

Man Who Can’t Find Woman Willing To Sleep With Him Gives Opinions on Abortion Anyway

COUSIN LOVERS, MISSOURI -- Jason Hubbard is a described "free market...

Amazon Starts Same-Day Coat Hanger Deliveries in Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, Missouri

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Scientific and news outlet Alternative Science reported recently...

Shop-Vac Building New Manufacturing Facilities in Georgia, Alabama, Missouri, Ohio

WILLIAMSPORT, PENNSYLVANIA -- Citing a "brand new, previously unforeseen need in...

New Alabama Mom Can’t Wait to Grow Up and Watch Her Son Grow Up

CORNPONE, ALABAMA -- Susie Grandstrom is expecting her first child sometime...

Local Republican Can’t Wait to Share His Awful Views of Rape, Incest With You

LAKE CHAUVIN, FLORIDA -- Lance Westmund is a 52-year-old self-described Born-Again Christian,...

Exclusive: Interview With a 2-Month Old Fetus About Its Feelings on Abortion!

In 1973, the United States Supreme Court ruled in Roe vs....