Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Trump Was ‘On the Way’ to Help First Responders on 9/11, But Decided to Let Someone Else ‘Hog All the Glory’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump signed permanent funding for...

Trump Campaign Debuts New 2020 Slogan: “If She’s Brown, Deport Her Down”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The reelection campaign for President Mushroompenis Trump has...

Toothless Kentucky Man Would Never Live in Baltimore

CONFEDERATE FALLS, KENTUCKY -- Sebastian Wilmington is a 36 year old...

Baltimore Rat Feels Right at Home Visiting White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A rat from Baltimore has been in the...

Hasbro Will Release”Trumpnopoly” Game Where the Point is to File Bankruptcy and Duck Income Tax

PAWTUCKET, RHODE ISLAND -- During a quarterly conference call with investors,...

Man Invents Device for Translating Farts and Donald Trump

EDISON FALLS, IDAHO -- Nicholas Tesler describes himself as an "amateur...

“The Jerk” To Be Remade As “The A-Hole,” Starring Donald Trump

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA -- Reports out of Tinseltown are that a new remake...

Man Burning Cross in a MAGA Hat Says Democrats Are the ‘Real Racists’

WALLACE, GEORGIA -- A man in a MAGA hat burning a...

Rick Santorum Worried All the Focus on Mexicans Not Leaving Enough Hate for Gays

Rick Santorum doesn't want American conservatives to lose track of one of their non-Mexican boogeymen.