Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

DeVos Orders Schools to Run Active Vaper Drills

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All around the country, schools will begin to...

NRA Supports Universal Background Checks and Waiting Periods For Vaping Products

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- During a press conference this morning, a spokesterrorist...

Vape Company Giving Guns Away With Their Products to Avoid Regulation

A California company that produces vaporizing products for sale in the...

Irate Manager Demands to Speak to Store’s Karen

BEAR ROCK, CALIFORNIA -- An irate manager at a local retail...

Trump Says He Can’t Be Impeached Until Dems Impeach Individual-1 First

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the House Judiciary Committee approved and...

President Commemorates The Day His Skyscraper Became the Tallest Building in New York

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a solemn ceremony this morning, President Donald...

Trump Considering Sarah Palin as National Insecurity Adviser

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Citing what he called "extremely fart-tudinous circumstantials," President...

President Pauses to Honor the Victims of 7/11

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump and Secondary First...

Trump Was ‘On the Way’ to Help First Responders on 9/11, But Decided to Let Someone Else ‘Hog All the Glory’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Earlier this year, President Donald Trump signed permanent...

Trump Wonders If ‘Obama And Crooked H’s Deep State’ Were Behind 9/11 Too

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump took time to...