Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Jim Jordan: “We Can’t Impeach Trump Before We Impeach Joe Biden”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that...

Obama Offers to Print Articles of Impeachment on His Long Form Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former President Barack H. Obama (D-Kenya) has reached...

Hillary Clinton Offers To Represent President Trump In His Impeachment Trial

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State, and winner...

Medical Community Stunned By Discovery of Vertebrate Democrat

Doctors and medical professionals all over the country, and indeed the...

White House Transcript of Ukraine Call Leaks

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States, President Donald...

Trump Orders Secret Service to Confiscate Greta Thunberg’s Staring Daggers

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Donald Trump has ordered the...

Mouth Breathing, Knuckle Dragging Moron Mocks Girl Ten Times Smarter and Accomplished Than He’ll Ever Be

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins...

Trump Wishes Greta Thunberg Would Speak at Third Grade Level So He Could Mock Her Intelligence

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, 16 year old climate activist Greta Thunberg...

Nancy Pelosi Still Can’t Find Her Constitutional Authority to Hold Trump Accountable

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- She knows she left it somewhere. She had...

Studies Show Mitch McConnell in Unique Position to Help U.S. Fund Medicare For All

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nonpartisan coalition of economists has published the...