Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Local Man Hopes Kellyanne Conway Halloween Costume Doesn’t Scare Away Trick or Treaters

SKELETAL FLATS, IOWA -- Every year, Jack Burton does his very...

Jim Jordan: “We Can’t Impeach Trump Before Impeaching Joe Biden”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that...

Clowns Hold Press Conference and Raid Closed Door Deposition

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A gaggle of drunken, angry clowns held an...

Trump Says California Fires Made Worse by ‘All The Windmills Making So Much Wind’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, who is also a noted...

Kellyanne Conway Says Nats Fans Were Alternative Cheering Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senior mendacity adviser to the president, Kellyanne Conway,...

Trump Orders Washington Nats and Their Fans Deported ‘Back to Maple Mexico’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Immediately upon returning back to the White House...

President Asked If His Bone Spurs Could Assist Special Forces’ al-Baghdadi Operation ‘In Any Way’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before authorizing the military operation that ended in...

Giuliani’s Mouth Dials Trump’s Butt and Asks If It Needs a Kiss

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani made...

Gowdy: “How Can You Impeach Trump When He Wasn’t Even Involved in Benghazi?”

AMOR DU COUSIN, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Former Congressman Trey Gowdy is...

Trump Still Scouting Locations for Next Klanpaign Rally

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One could argue that President Donald J. Trump...