Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

President Says California Fires Made Worse by ‘Windmills Making So Much Wind’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, who is also a noted...

President Says Constitution Signers Were ‘Never Trumpers’ Who Planned a Coup Against Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just moments ago, President Donald J. Trump accused...

KKK’s Stormfront Added to Facebook News

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- This week, Facebook News debuted for...

Trump to Give Himself Purple Heart for Getting Ego Bruised by Impeachment Proceedings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a closed-door deposition today, Lt. Col. Alexander...

Local Man Hopes Kellyanne Conway Halloween Costume Doesn’t Scare Away Trick or Treaters

SKELETAL FLATS, IOWA -- Every year, Jack Burton does his very...

Jim Jordan: “We Can’t Impeach Trump Before Impeaching Joe Biden”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that...

Clowns Hold Press Conference and Raid Closed Door Deposition

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A gaggle of drunken, angry clowns held an...

Trump Says California Fires Made Worse by ‘All The Windmills Making So Much Wind’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, who is also a noted...

Kellyanne Conway Says Nats Fans Were Alternative Cheering Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senior mendacity adviser to the president, Kellyanne Conway,...

Trump Orders Washington Nats and Their Fans Deported ‘Back to Maple Mexico’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Immediately upon returning back to the White House...