Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Matt Gaetz to Personally Collect Florida’s Student Athlete Menstrual Data

The State of Florida is set to begin collecting menstrual data...

DeSantis Demands to Know Why Biden Hasn’t Also Shot Down Any Big Black Balloons

An angry Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) lashed out at the Biden...

Trump: China Sent Him Three Balloons as Gifts for Opening Secret Bank Accounts

Hours after former President Trump criticized how long it took President...

Biden Tells MTG He’ll Shoot Down Chinese Balloon When She Finds China or Montana on a Map

President Joe Biden was asked today about whether or not he's...

Conservative Economist Predicts Inflation Will Fall 200% If Everyone Sees Hunter Biden’s Dick

When the Republican Party secured control of the House of Representatives...

Boebert: “I Don’t Have to Be Able to Spell Socialism to Condemn It!”

Today, House Republicans will tackle the issue that every American knows...

Punxsutawney Phil Tells Kari Lake She’ll Spend Four More Years Not Being Governor

This morning, Punxsutawney Phil, the seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators,...

DeSantis Orders February Removed from All School Calendars

Today, the first day of February, marks the beginning of Black...

George Santos Announces Kitara Ravache Will Handle His Committee Assignments

Congressman George Santos (Q-NY) has had a pretty rough start to...