Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Orders All Holiday Greetings Replaced With “Merry Christmas”

This morning, President Donald Trump issued an executive order that he...

Trump Demands House Vote on His Articles of Impeachment Using ‘Electoral College Rules’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump paced angrily around the White...

Study Shows Inverse Relationship Between Genital Size and How Often You Say “Cuck”

One of the nation's leading scientific research organizations has concluded that...

Study Shows 100% of Abortions None of Your Business

Several red states are in various stages of implementing sweeping abortion...

Trump Orders Facebook and Twitter to Force Users to Like and Follow Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been no big secret around the nation's...

Alabama Pro-Lifers Grant Personhood to Precum

LAKE DORMIR AVEC LEURS COUSINS, ALABAMA -- Pro-life Republicans in the...

Women for Trump Teams With Chickens for McNuggets on Campaign Fundraiser

The White House will play host to a special dinner gala...

Seating Chart Places President At Kids’ Table for White House Thanksgiving Dinner

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's not for another couple of weeks,...

Trump: Giuliani Went to Ukraine on Orders from President John Barron, Not Him

WASHINGTON, D.C -- For many months now, Rudy Giuliani, President Trump's...