Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Orders Facebook and Twitter to Force Users to Like and Follow Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been no big secret around the nation's...

Alabama Pro-Lifers Grant Personhood to Precum

LAKE DORMIR AVEC LEURS COUSINS, ALABAMA -- Pro-life Republicans in the...

Women for Trump Teams With Chickens for McNuggets on Campaign Fundraiser

The White House will play host to a special dinner gala...

Seating Chart Places President At Kids’ Table for White House Thanksgiving Dinner

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's not for another couple of weeks,...

Trump: Giuliani Went to Ukraine on Orders from President John Barron, Not Him

WASHINGTON, D.C -- For many months now, Rudy Giuliani, President Trump's...

Former Papa John’s CEO Did 40 Days’ Worth of Coke in 30

GRAS RACISTE EN SUEUR RIVER VALLEY, KENTUCKY -- John Schnatter, founder...

Analysis Shows More People Than IQ Points in the Arena During Last Trump Rally

Last night, President Donald J. Trump held another rally. As has...

You Whiny Snowflake Cuck Libtards Owe Me a Space Safe from “OK, Boomer”

The following is an opinionated editorial written by staff writer Bill...