Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

6 Things as Perfect as Trump’s Ukraine Call

Throughout the Ukraine scandal that has rocked the Trump administration and...

Which Barnyard Animal Does Devin Nunes NOT Fuck?

Recently, Satirical Facts published a piece entitled "Can We Bait Goat Fucker Devin...

Pat Robertson Reminds Christians They’ll Go To Hell for Loving Baby Yoda and Baby Jesus

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning...

Santa Asks 58 Year Old If She Still Believes Trump is a Real President

THE NORTH POLE, EARTH -- On Christmas night last year, President...

Trump Orders All Holiday Greetings Replaced With “Merry Christmas”

This morning, President Donald Trump issued an executive order that he...

Trump Demands House Vote on His Articles of Impeachment Using ‘Electoral College Rules’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump paced angrily around the White...

Study Shows Inverse Relationship Between Genital Size and How Often You Say “Cuck”

One of the nation's leading scientific research organizations has concluded that...

Study Shows 100% of Abortions None of Your Business

Several red states are in various stages of implementing sweeping abortion...

Trump Orders Facebook and Twitter to Force Users to Like and Follow Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been no big secret around the nation's...

Alabama Pro-Lifers Grant Personhood to Precum

LAKE DORMIR AVEC LEURS COUSINS, ALABAMA -- Pro-life Republicans in the...