Totally Bulls*it News

Oh Cool, I’m Blogging About Politics Again. Can Anyone Remember Why?

A long time ago, in a country that feels a million miles away now, I started this stupid little website because as I was...

Trump Will Only Pardon Turkey That Voted For Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump said that he...

Mitch McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside...

MAGA Boy: “My Family Didn’t Come Here from Europe to Let No Immigrants In!”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- On the latest edition of his...

Turkey Passes On Trump’s Presidential Pardon

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for...

Man Burning Cross in MAGA Hat Says Democrats Are the ‘Real Racists’

WALLACE, GEORGIA -- A man in a MAGA hat burning a...

Jeff Sessions Promises Alabama He’s Still Racist and Mostly Enjoys The Taste of Trump’s Dick

BEDFORD FORREST, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General and Confederate monument model...

POLL: Literally F_ _king Nobody Wants This Douchebag to Run for President Right Now

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This week, several outlets reported that...

Obama Releases List of States That Have Legally Barred Him From Running Charities

SECRET COMMUNIST SHARIA BUNKER, KENYA -- Former President Barack Hussein Obama...

Burnett and Trump Teaming Up Again on “The Apprentice: Outhouse”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Before he was the most powerful man in...