Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Bloomberg Will Pay You $15,000 and a New Tesla to Tell People He Won The Debate

DESERT SPRINGS, NEVADA -- Last night, former New York City Mayor...

Man Starting to Think Supportive Friends Are Bad Judges of Human Potential

LAKE ÉTOILE DÉCLINANTE, ILLINOIS -- Phillip Fillmore, a lifelong resident of...

Trump Pardons Lee Harvey Oswald

NARANJO CHINGADOR, CALIFORNIA -- President Donald Trump has not been ashamed...

Anti-Corruption Crusader Pardons Four Corrupt Criminals Because He Cares So Much About Corruption

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The most prominent anti-corruption crusading president in American...

Boy Scouts of America Moves Headquarters to Vatican City

VATICAN CITY, THE VATICAN -- The Boy Scouts of America is...

DNC: “We’re Not Taking Any Sides Except Against Candidates We Don’t Want You to Want”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Democratic National Committee released a statement today,...

Cannabis Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% in 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research...

Vatican Unveils Papal Vape-als Line of Holy THC Products

THE VATICAN -- Since ascending to the Catholic Church's highest and...