Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Musk Invests $10 Million in New Water Pipe Company

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Last year, Elon Musk made headlines...

Ghost of FDR Worries Fellow Socialist Sanders May Only Be Elected to Two Terms

The ghost of Franklin D. Roosevelt, former President of the United...

Trump Offers to Run the Real Taj Mahal Into Bankruptcy

INDIA -- President Donald Trump is in India for a couple...

Man’s Dick Suing Him For Power of Attorney

VALLE CHORIZO, CALIFORNIA -- A landmark case is working itself through...

President Trump Asks All Intelligence Briefings Include Small Words And Big Pictures

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration has submitted an official request...

Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production...

Bloomberg: “I Paid Broads Like They Were As Good at Their Jobs As Men”

GOLD VALLEY, UTAH -- Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg has been...

Republican: Free College Plans Set America on a ‘Dangerous Path’ to Intelligent People

THIRD PINE, OHIO -- Senators Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren both...