Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Accuses Obama/Biden of Creating Coronavirus as ‘Part of a Flu Coup’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While the country continues to brace itself and...

Trump Worries ‘Obama’s Stock Market Crash’ Will Tank His Economy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told the American people today...

Local Woman Refuses to Accept Trophy for World’s Most Stubborn Person

RECALCITRANT FALLS, MINNESOTA -- Last month, Cheryl Sherer won a highly-coveted...

Trump to Give Robert E. Lee Medal of Freedom

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Hours after heaping praise on Confederate General Robert...

Coronavirus Qurantines Itself From Ted Cruz

TEXAS -- A spokesperson for the novel coronavirus issued a statement...

Coronavirus Threat Could Mean Millions of Americans Don’t Pretend to Be Irish Stereotypes This Year

All across America, cities and towns are holding emergency council meetings...

Man Uncomfortable With How Similar His Stepson’s Pornhub Search History Is to His Own

VALLE DE CHINGANDA FAMILIA, ARIZONA -- Six years ago, when he...