Totally Bulls*it News

I Tried the New McMoron Combo Meal. 0/10

By no means would I call myself a "gourmet." Maybe a "gourmand," but I'm not really even sure about that. Whatever the label you...

Taco Bell Unveils New “Nacho Cheese Chalu-IPA” Craft Beer

IRVINE, CALIFORNIA -- Alleged food purveyor Taco Bell will be the...

Devin Nunes: ‘Only 10,000 Benghazis’ Not Worth Shutting Down Economy Over COVID-19

DIPSHIT, CALIFORNIA -- On September 11th, 2012, a terrorist attack was...

Trump Boys Mortuaries Opens Across America’s Heartland

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Never shy about a business venture...

Oprah Winfrey School of Medicine Revokes Degrees Given to Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS -- One of the nation's leading reality-TV medical schools...

Man on COVID Quarantine Really Missing Taco Bell Shits

LA MIERDA LIQUIDA, CALIFORNIA -- Getting used to living in the...

Historians Unearth Draft of Famous Patrick Henry ‘Give Me Retail Shopping and Give Me Death’ Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Researchers at the National Academy of History and...

Donald Trump Jr: “Americans Need to Go Back to Pretending to Work Like Me”

"My daddy always said if I can do something, literally any fucking moron in the world can do it, too."

Local Idiots Demand Right to Die for Retail Commerce

DUMBERG, OHIO -- The village idiots of a town in Ohio...

Trump Says Americans Without Toilet Paper Can Wipe With the Constitution Like He Does

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As his administration grapples with how to best...

Treasury Orders Trump’s Mushroom Stamp on Coronavirus Stimulus Checks

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Treasury Department issued an order late...