Bongino Leaves YouTube and Will Exclusively Post Show Clips on His Giant Fucking Forehead

This morning, right-wing agitator and propagandist Dan Bongino announced that he was leaving YouTube permanently, and would no longer post his show’s clips to the social media site. Bongino has been in a public tiff with YouTube after the digital video hosting site temporarily restricted his account and demonetized it for repeatedly publishing false information about COVID-19.

Mr. Bongino threatened to keep posting the same kinds of content that got his account suspended, once his access was restored to it. However, it appears that instead, Bongino has decided to exit the platform altogether. Instead of posting his show clips to YouTube, Bongino told his audience he plans to show the clips right on his giant fucking forehead.

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“YOU KNOW WHAT, SCREW-TUBE?! SCREW, YOU…TUBE! HA HA HA!,” Bongino shouted into a microphone.

“I DO NOT NEED COMMIE TUBE! I AM OFFICIALLY NEVER GOING BACK, AND IT WON’T BE LIKE TWITTER WHERE I SAID I WAS QUITTING AND THEN CAME BACK A FEW WEEKS LATER!”

Bongino announced that his forehead and Rumble, a video hosting site he owns stock in, would be the “new, permanent homes” for his show clips.

“Let’s be honest here folks,” Bongino said, “I’ll also put the clips on Rumble, but far more people will see the clips when I put them directly on my massive fucking forehead.”

Current estimates are that approximately three billion people will be able to simultaneously view Bongino’s clips while they play on his forehead.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.