President Joe Biden was asked today about whether or not he’s heard the calls from House Republicans to direct the U.S. military to shoot down a Chinese balloon they believe is spying on America, over the skies of Montana.
“Yes, of course I heard them, Jack! I hear everything those guys say, because they scream it. They scream everything. I’ve never heard such a bunch of screamers in my life. They seem triggered by just about everything,” Biden said. “Just because I heard them, though, that doesn’t mean I’m gonna do what they asked me to do. I could hear them asking me to shove me balls into a meat grinder, but that don’t mean I’m gonna mash up my gonads, Squirt!”
Biden indicated, however, that he might consider authorizing the military to shoot down the balloon, but only if two strict conditions are met.
“I’ll tell you folks the same thing I told Kevin this morning. As soon as that Mango CrayCray Greene character shows us she can find either China or Montana on a map,” Biden offered, “I’ll tell the Air Force to shoot that balloon down. Not a moment sooner.”
Before having the reporters escorted from the Oval Office for his afternoon Ensure and nap-nap time, Biden made one further offer.
“Or, you know what? Now that I think of it, if that Lauren Bonobo character can spell ‘balloon’ correctly — on the first try I’m saying — then I’ll have that balloon shot down,” Biden said. “I may be a Democrat, but I’m not unwilling to work with literate Republicans, Sport!”
@jamboschlarmbo #Biden weighs in on the #SpyBalloon story #MarjorieTaylorGreene #Satire #politicalsatire #politics #politik ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann
