Amy Coney Barrett Says She’ll Welcome Jackson to Supreme Court If Mr. Barrett Says She Can

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If Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson is confirmed by the U.S. Senate and becomes a member of the United States Supreme Court, she’ll be welcomed by the previously most recently appointed woman to the high court. That is, of course, only if her husband says it’s okay to welcome Judge Jackson.

“Obviously, we have to wait to see if she’ll be confirmed or not, but of course I look forward to welcoming her to the bench with open arms,” Justice Amy COVID Barrett told reporters as she arrived for work in the nation’s capital yesterday.

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“I mean, my husband has to approve that decision, like he does with all of mine, but if he’s cool with it, I’ll welcome Judge Jackson to the Supreme Court. Under his eye.”

While Justice Barrett has committed to welcoming Jackson warmly, provided her husband gives her the permission she needs to do so, not every justice has given such assurances. Reportedly, Justice Bart O’Kavanaugh has said that unless Judge Jackson is also required to pass a breathalyzer before she hears cases like he’s required to do, he will be very rude and mean to her. Justice Clarence Thomas has indicated that he’ll need to see how she reacts to him finding pubic hairs in random places around the courthouse before he makes a judgment about her one way or the other.

One of the first cases that Judge Jackson could help the Supreme Court decide would be the challenge of the extreme limit on abortions in the state of Texas. Sources say that Justice Barrett is hoping to convince Jackson that as a woman, she doesn’t really need agency over her own uterus.

“Justice Barrett feels very strongly that the Lord Thy Trump put her in place specifically under the authority of God Himself to help turn every woman in America into a birthing cow,” our source told us. “So, if she can get Judge Jackson on her side, that’s just a feather in her cap, as far as Justice Barrett is concerned.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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