James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Putin Unsure He’ll Invite Trump to D.C. 4th of July Celebration

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Over the weekend, President Donald Trump announced that -- for the...

New Poll: 99% of Humanity Wants Steve Irwin to Trade Places With PETA

This morning, the results of a new flash poll were released and executives on...

MAGABomber, Coast Guard Terrorist, Charlottesville Driver Outraged Smollett Tried to Imply MAGA Boys Can Be Violent Sociopaths

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Cesar Sayoc, Christopher Paul Hasson, and James Alex Fields...

Jussie Smollett Hired by InfoWars

TINFOIL, TEXAS -- Jussie Smollett appears to be in a mess of hot water,...

Kraft Apologizes for Paying to Have Balls Deflated

CHOWDER, MASSACHUSETTS -- A spokesperson for Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots...

Kellyanne Conway: National Emergency at Border ‘Much Bigger and Worser Crisis’ Than Bowling Green Massacre

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of President Trump's most vocal and loyal aides, Kellyanne Conway,...

Doctor Explains How Judge’s Foot Lodged In Roger Stone’s Rectum Will Keep His Mouth Shut

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In federal court on Thursday, President Donald Trump's longest-running political adviser...

Trump Issues National Emergency and Seizes the Memes of Satire Production

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning President Trump signed an executive order and declared a...

Mexico Agrees to Pay for National Emergency as Long as Trump Can Prove it Exists

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The Federal Government of Mexico has sent an official communique...

Barack Obama and The Clintons Sue Breitbart, InfoWars, and Fox News for Defamation

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- In a stunning, unforeseen development, former President Barack Obama...

McConnell Confident Trump Can Fit His Entire Dick In There

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a hastily convened press conference this afternoon, Senate Majority Leader...

Trump Takes Out Full Page Ad in NYT Demanding Death Penalty for 11-Year-Old Arrested for Not Pledging Allegiance

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week at Lawton Chiles Middle Academy in Lakeland, Florida, a sixth...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....