James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Michael Avenatti’s New Client Says Trump Sexually Assaulted Her In Front of Hundreds at CPAC

NORTH HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- The attorney who represented Stormy Daniels in multiple suits against...

Trump Complained to Aides He Didn’t Get to Stay in Hanoi Hilton Like ‘That Fake War Hero McCain’

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump abruptly walked away from his much-ballyhooed summit with...

Nielsen: More People Watched Michael Cohen’s Testimony Than Wanted to Watch Trump’s Inauguration

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The Nielsen Ratings company has been tracking what Americans...

Trump Regrets Lying About Lying About Telling Michael Cohen to Lie About Him Lying

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Donald Trump came down from the White House's presidential residence...

Trump Gave Kim Jong-Un List of Blue States He’d Prefer NK Aim Nukes At

AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL-1 -- During his meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un, President...

Jim Jordan Shreds Cohen Testimony: ‘Total Waste of Taxpayer Dollars’ That ‘Didn’t Get into Benghazi Even Once’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told a right-wing talk radio station today that...

Doctors Unsure When or If Cohen’s Foot Can Be Removed from Trump’s Rectum

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- At the time of publication, White House medical staff is boarding...

Courier Hands Cohen Check Signed by President Trump Just Before Entering Capitol Building

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The collective political world is at a stand still, awaiting with...

Trump Packed Two Pairs of Dress Bone Spurs for Vietnam Summit

VIETNAM -- No one can ever accuse President Donald Trump of not dressing up...

Bablyon Bee Drops All Pretense and Converts to Conservative Christian Mega-Church

LAKE PROPAGANDA, MICHIGAN --  The online satirical publication known as The Babylon Bee has decided...

Jeff Sessions Says Spike Lee Should Be Arrested for Making Joints, Not Given Awards

WHITE HOOD, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was stopped outside his favorite...

A Scientific Breakdown of All the Racism in Spike Lee’s Oscar Acceptance Speech

Last night, iconic film director Spike Lee made personal history when he was finally...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....