James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Chamber of Commerce: White Sheet Sales Up 72% Since January 2017

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce announced on Monday that retailers across the country are...

Trump: Putin Likes Watching Him Collude With Other Foreign Leaders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Toadstool Phallus assured a nervous and worried American electorate this...

President Warns Americans Not To Interfere In Next Election By Voting For The Democrat

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though there are still several months left before the primary season...

President Assures Skeptics Putin Gave Him Permission to Collude With Ukraine This Time

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As buzz grows on the Hill surrounding reports that President Donald...

Pervy Conspiracy Theorist Storms Area 69 Instead

AREA 69, UNDISCLOSED LOCATION -- While everyone else has been busy preparing for an...

President Calls California ‘Unconstitutional,’ and Revokes Its Statehood

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration officially filed paperwork to revoke California's EPA waiver...

Fearing Another Whistleblower, President Bans Tea Kettles From White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the President of the United States issued an edict,...

League of Latinx Voters Puts Out Pamphlet: “5 Reasons To Re-Elect Donald Trump For President”

President of the United States, and Head Stable Genius at MENSA, Donald J. Trump,...

President Declares ‘National McMergency’ Because He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at...

Spicer Already Booked For Next Season of “Dancing With the Lying Kleptocratic Fascist Lawless Dick Burgers”

HOLLYWOOT, CALIFORNIA -- Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has been having the...

Shane Gillis Hired as Trump’s New Speechwriter

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, at a ceremony in the Rose Garden, President Donald Trump...

Shane Gillis Apologizes to All The Good Asians He Does Like. Both Of Them.

Alleged comedian Shane Gillis will not be joining the cast of Saturday Night Live, as had...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....