James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
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This 77 Year Old Tortoise Has F_ _ked the Working Class So Much It’s On The Brink of Extinction

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Down in Ecuador, a centenarian Galapagos tortoise named "Diego" is being...

Facebook Hires Sarah Sanders, Sean Spicer, and Joseph Goebbels’ Reanimated Corpse to Vet Political Ads

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Facebook, facing enormous pressure from the public and celebrities...

NYC to Rename Public Toilet After Trump

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Officials in New York City have reached out to...

Militantly Atheist and Anti-Hunting Comedian/Movie Star Really Sick of All Your Celebrity Activism, Hollywood

He's really into animal rights. He's so into protecting the rights of animals that...

Adderall Sponsoring Trump’s State of the Union Address

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has reportedly inked a deal with Shire US,...

Iran Says Chick-Fil-A, WalMart, and Slave Plantations Are American Targets of Cultural Value

U.S. President Donald J. Trump made headlines and raised a serious number of eyebrows...

Dems May Ask SCOTUS to Weigh-In On Impeached Presidents Starting World Wars During Election Years

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A growing number of Congressional Democrats are reportedly bandying about an...

Mexico Updates Trump On How Much They’ve Paid For His Wall So Far

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The government of Mexico reportedly sent the White House an...

Evangelicals for Trump Releases List of “10 Best Pussy Grabbin’ Moments From The Bible”

It's no big secret that one key to the political success of Donald Trump...

7 Outright Lies About Mark Zuckerberg That We Can Still Pay Facebook to Promote

Facebook, in a word, doesn't give two twisted Twinkie shits about truthfulness in political...

Sarah Huckabee: “It Was Stupid of The Constitution to Not Give Presidents Unlimited Powers”

SLOP TROUGH, ARKANSAS -- Former Chief White House Propaganda Minister Sarah Huckabee Sanders appeared...

Ted Cruz: “Why Do Democrats Cry Over Terrorists From Other Countries But Vilify the Ones Who Voted For Trump?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) was absolutely brutalized by then-candidate Donald Trump...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...