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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...
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The Democrats

Ghost of FDR Worries Fellow Socialist Sanders May Only Be Elected to Two Terms

The ghost of Franklin D. Roosevelt, former President of the United States held a...
Business

Trump Offers to Run the Real Taj Mahal Into Bankruptcy

INDIA -- President Donald Trump is in India for a couple of days this...
The Democrats

Can a Candidate Win the General Election If They’re Enormously Popular and Keep Winning Primaries?

With less than nine months to go until the general election in November, the...
Lifestyle

Man’s Dick Suing Him For Power of Attorney

VALLE CHORIZO, CALIFORNIA -- A landmark case is working itself through the California court...
MAGA News

President Trump Asks All Intelligence Briefings Include Small Words And Big Pictures

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration has submitted an official request to Congress, asking...
Science & Medicine

Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production in part because...
The Democrats

Moderate Democrat Worried She’ll Have to Vote for Candidate Who Supports Policies She Says She Cares About Too

MT. FECKLESS, ILLINOIS -- 43 year old Suzie Susanton is a lifelong registered Democrat....
U.S. Politics

Bloomberg: “I Paid Broads Like They Were As Good at Their Jobs As Men”

GOLD VALLEY, UTAH -- Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg has been dumping millions of...
U.S. Politics

Republican: Free College Plans Set America on a ‘Dangerous Path’ to Intelligent People

THIRD PINE, OHIO -- Senators Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren both have made the...
U.S. Politics

Bloomberg Will Pay You $15,000 and a New Tesla to Tell People He Won The Debate

DESERT SPRINGS, NEVADA -- Last night, former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg made...
Lifestyle

Man Starting to Think Supportive Friends Are Bad Judges of Human Potential

LAKE ÉTOILE DÉCLINANTE, ILLINOIS -- Phillip Fillmore, a lifelong resident of his sleepy midwestern...
Criminal Justice

Trump Pardons Lee Harvey Oswald

NARANJO CHINGADOR, CALIFORNIA -- President Donald Trump has not been ashamed to use his...
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Latest articles

Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)