James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Posts from author

CDC Recommends Washing Hands For At Least As Long As It Takes For You To Masturbate

Trump Warns His Enemies Not To Interfere In 2020 Election By Voting For The Democrat

Trump Tests Negative for Coronavirus, But Positive for Dumbfuck Flu

2020 Polls: Coronavirus Beating Trump in Head-to-Head Matchup

Alabama ‘Looking Into’ Prosecuting God for Miscarriages

Poll: 70% of Americans Believe Trump Should Self-Quarantine in Hole Six Feet Underground

Report: People Were Socially Distancing Themselves From You Way Before Coronavirus

President Agrees to Coronavirus Test After Being Assured It Has No Spelling or Math Questions

Postponed Coachella Will Now Offer $1200 Boutique Coronavirus Testing Tent

Disneyland Having All Its Caribbean Pirates Tested for Coronavirus

Quarantined Cruise Passenger: Ship Talent Show ‘Far Worse’ Than Coronavirus Outbreak

Update: There Are Still LEGO On The Goddamned Floor

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