James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
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FUKWHIT, NEW YORK -- James O'Queef III and his Project Bullshitas have been attempting...

Zuckerberg Planning Separate Social Media Site Just for White Nationalists Called “Facebook”

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, COMMIEFORNIA -- Billionaire automaton Mark Zuckerberg has been developing a separate...

RNC Quietly Removes “Supporting American Democracy” from Party Platform

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Republican National Committee has taken down the phrase "Supporting American...

Trump Signs Executive Order Declaring Himself “Actual” Winner of 2020 Election

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With the time on his first and only presidential term running...

Democratic Operative Regrets Rigging Election for Mitch McConnell to Retain Senate Control

LOS SOROS, COMMIEFORNIA -- She didn't think things through; at least not completely. She...

McConnell: “Maybe I’m a Wrinkly Fuckstick Traitor. But That Doesn’t Mean Trump Shouldn’t Contest Every State He Lost.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a moment of unforeseen and rare candor, Senate Majority Leader...

The Actual Jesus Christ Wrote This Letter to Kayleigh McEnany and Asked Us to Publish It For Him

The following was received by this outlet late last night. After contacting the offices...

Trump: “If You Only Count the Votes from Red States, I Won Easily”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It appears that President Donald Trump is still not quite ready...

Trump Tries to Kick WA, OR, CA, NV, AZ, CO, NM, GA, VA, PA, MN, WI, IL, MI, ME, VT, NH, NY, MA, CT,...

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has issued an emergency McProclamation from the Oval...

Disappointed Stephen Miller Finds Out the Klan Doesn’t Offer Healthcare or 401kkk

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, soon to be former White House senior adviser Stephen...

OP-ED: What Do You Mean There Are Consequences for Supporting Corrupt, Incompetent Asshole Bullies?

The following is a reader-submitted editorial from Kevin Riccilumbo, a reader from New Fucnut,...

Trump Supporter Prepared to Worry About Deficit, Debts, Corrupt Presidents Again

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- If Donald Trump loses his reelection bid, right-wing podcaster...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...