WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) stunned politicians and the media alike when he announced that by executive order he’d be changing the official name of the signature achievement of his eight years in office. Since its inception, Republicans have railed against the ACA, even though much of its core legal framework came from the Heritage Foundation, a right-wing think tank, and its predecessor was enacted by Republican Governor Mitt Romney when he was Massachusetts’ chief executive.
“In an effort to protect the health insurance coverage of over twenty million Americans,” Obama announced at an early morning press conference, “and after discussing the issue with Congressional Democrats, I’m going to be officially renaming the Affordable Care Act to TrumpCare, and I’m doing it by Sharia Command — excuse me, executive order.”
Obama said that he was motivated to give the order by seeing President-Elect Donald Trump take credit for a boost in consumer confidence in the last month, as well as other key economic indicators he said Trump could not have had an impact on given that he hasn’t been sworn-in yet.
“This will help Americans deal with Trump spending the next four years taking credit for all my successes,” Obama declared.
The president, who has just fourteen more days until the end of his term, said that he believed Trump would be motivated to keep the Affordable Care Act if he officially changed its name to TrumpCare. President Obama said that over the years conservatives have grown to loathe the law in whole because of its more colloquial name, “Obamacare.” But, he said, he believes this new order may help rectify the situation.
The lame duck president said that he was “banking on Donald’s love of himself” in making this decision. He further insisted that Trump’s ego played into the decision to make the order, and that ironically it might be Trump’s narcissism that saves health insurance access for tens of millions of Americans.
“There’s no way Trump would let something with his own name on it fail, right,” Obama asked rhetorically before adding, “I mean, besides his steaks, his bottled waters, and his casinos.”
President Obama paused at this moment in the press conference. He held his right forefinger up, indicating that he was thinking about what he’d just said. Another quiet few moments passed in the briefing room. Then, Obama spoke again.
“Oh shit,” Obama said, “I may have made a huge mistake.”
Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.
