Well, that didn’t take long, and maybe I owe Elon Musk an apology. I just didn’t think that his Department of Government Efficiency would do much more than take taxpayer money and give them nothing in return, because if anyone knows about grifting and unintentional irony, it’s Mr. Musk.
But boy was I wrong!
Already, the DOGE has convinced incoming President Don Trump to sell Air Force One. In fact, Trump will end up selling the presidential plane to Russian President Vladimir Putin. Then, Musk will have the rapist-in-chief turn around and take those rubles and buy Epstein Air 69 with them. In a leaked email, Musk lobbies Trump heavily.
Following is an excerpt from the email, reprinted verbatim.
What’s My Bought and Paid for Presidential Beeeotch?
Hey, real quick, man. Remember how comfortable the seats on Epstein Air 69 were? I don’t know, I don’t think Air Force One’s are nearly as comfortable, and if you ask me, God King Emperors need to have the most comfy seats imaginable, and so that’s why I need more comfy seating if I’m gonna be traveling around this shit hole country with you.
I’ve been talking to the current owners and they said we could get Epstein Air 69 for a very low price, Don. I’ve also been talking to our mutual buddy in the Kremlin and he said he’d love to buy AO1 from you. So, you could just turn right around, take those rubles, and buy yourself EA69 with it. Talk about government efficiency!
You’d make a nice little profit, too, and I’d only ask the American people to split it with me 90% to me, 10% to them. You know, for brokering the deal. BUSINESSMEN RUNNING THE COUNTRY, AM I RIGHT, DON?
How much you keep of that 10% is up to you, of course. Just ask future AG Matt Gaetz what we’ll rubber-stamp for you. I’m sure we can Venmo him a few grand to take care of any, you know, “concerns,” that he’d have about it. Anyway, let me know when you’ve had AO1 detailed and ready for pickup, and I’ll let Uncle Vlad know the deal is on.
