Hillary Clinton Will Read The Audiobook Version Of “Fire and Fury”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Alinsky Talent Agency announced this morning that one of their stable of stars has been tapped to record the audiobook version of author Michael Wolff’s bombshell investigative tell-all book, “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House.”

“ATA is pleased to announce that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will be reading the audiobook version of Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House,” a press release from the agency reads. “Hillary is experienced in recording audiobooks, having read the narration to a book or two of her own in the past. She is very much so looking forward to this opportunity.”

President Trump has lambasted the book, which contains a number of explosive and embarrassing facts about him, his family, his aides, his campaign, and his first year in office. Word of the book first hit the public’s attention when an excerpt from it, in which Steve Bannon — a man that Trump once credited with helping him win the election — is quoted as saying the meeting in the summer of 2016 between Trump’s son, son-in-law, Bannon, and Russian lawyers claiming to have dirt on Clinton was “treasonous.”

Excerpts from the book paint a picture of a White House in total chaos. It portrays Trump as a borderline delusional man who lashes out, gets stuck in rhetorical loops, and cannot help himself from tweeting incendiary things, often over the advice of advisers in the administration. Trump took to Twitter yesterday to blast the book and Steve Bannon.

I authorized Zero access to White House (actually turned him down many times) for author of phony book! I never spoke to him for book. Full of lies, misrepresentations and sources that don’t exist. Look at this guy’s past and watch what happens to him and Sloppy Steve!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 5, 2018

Ms. Clinton is not taking any payment for this job, the press release states, despite being a celebrity with a big enough name to command an easy six-figure or more sum for the work.

“Secretary Clinton believes in doing charitable work that helps lift humanity up in times of tumult and insecurity,” the press release states. “So she will not be taking a single dime for this gig, as she believes she is truly doing God’s work, if you believe in God. If you don’t, then let’s just call it trolling. And Hill-dawg loves to troll a troll.”

The White House was not reached for comment, but a loud yelling noise was heard from the Oval Office and a palette of Diet Coke was catapulted out onto the front lawn shortly after publication.

You can read satire like this every day on The Political Garbage Chute and Alternative Facts.

More satire:

Tilapia Lahren Wants NASA To Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’