Tonight, President Joe Biden will deliver his first State of the Union address.
Last year, in the wake of the Trump Steaks of Insurrections, Biden gave a speech to a joint session of Congress, but not a State of the Union address per se. President Biden is expected to speak about the country’s ongoing recovery from the global COVID-19 pandemic, tout the jobs growth his administration has overseen, and to speak quite a bit about the war in Ukraine being waged by Russian President Vladimir Putin, who was never able to accept any of Trump’s invitations to attend his own States of the Union speeches.
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As has become customary in recent times, once Biden has finished with his speech, notable politicians will then deliver their own responses. The list of responses this year is a bit larger than in years past, with even a handful of Democrats — members of Biden’s own party — giving their own speeches. For the America First and Dumbfuck Caucuses, an up and coming domestic terrorist has been tapped to respond to Biden.
Speaking to reporters this morning, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) said that she is as “pumped” as she was on January 5th, 2021, to deliver the State of the Union response for America First and the Dumbfucks. However, she also said she has a few concerns she’s “trying to work through” as well.
“Y’all! I cannot wait for this evening. I haven’t been this pumped to be in the capitol since the night of January 5th! You’re not gonna want to miss my speech, because I took so many remedial reading courses in preparation for it, there’s just now way I could screw it up,” Greene told reporters.
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“Then again, I’ve been yelling at people still wearing masks and screaming at people who aren’t wearing MAGA hats this week that I’m starting to wonder if my voice will hold out. Everyone knows my voice is literally the only tool I have to work with, and if it’s too hoarse, people can’t hear me.”
Ms. Greene also said she hopes that learning to read in English also helped her be able to pronounce and speak it better.
“As an Equine American, horsey is my native tongue. So I’ll be really embarrassed if I slip up tonight and let out a NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIGGGGHHHHHH when I’m supposed to be calling Joe Biden a Commie Cuck Soyboy,” Greene laughed.
“Time well tell, fam. Time will tell.”
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.
