WASHINGTON, D.C. — Discussing his administration’s response to Hurricane Florence, a massive storm barreling down on the east coast, President Trump once again was forced to reconcile with how his team handled last year’s deadly hurricane season. Specifically, Mr. Trump was asked questions about Puerto Rico, that was devastated by Hurricane Maria, with an official death toll over 3,000.
Trump had tweeted about the fatality count earlier this morning, and reporters were following up on those tweets. It’s unclear whether or not Trump truly meant to imply that Democratic operatives had inflated the death toll, but in a pair of tweets, that was certainly the implication many took away.
3000 people did not die in the two hurricanes that hit Puerto Rico. When I left the Island, AFTER the storm had hit, they had anywhere from 6 to 18 deaths. As time went by it did not go up by much. Then, a long time later, they started to report really large numbers, like 3000…
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 13, 2018
…..This was done by the Democrats in order to make me look as bad as possible when I was successfully raising Billions of Dollars to help rebuild Puerto Rico. If a person died for any reason, like old age, just add them onto the list. Bad politics. I love Puerto Rico!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 13, 2018
This week, Trump has been under renewed scrutiny because Hurricane Florence is making its way through the eastern parts of the United States, reminding everyone of last year’s horrific storm season, and Maria’s utter devastation. Surprisingly, Trump had nothing but praise for his administration’s response to Maria, despite almost as many Americans dying in Puerto Rico as did on September 11th, 2001.
After the president’s lunch break, it seemed that he had calmed just a bit, and he backed down from the accusation that Democrats inflated the number. Instead, Trump believes that the people who died in Puerto Rico did so to personally sleight him.
“Look, the last thing I want to do is something unpresidential, but let me just do exactly that right now, and use the corpses of 3,000 Americans to insult people who, for some strange reason, think I’m not doing a good job,” Trump said. “I have to say, that I think at least some, if not all, of those people who died in Puerto Rico probably had it out for me.”
Slurping down a Diet Coke and heaving chunks of KFC into his mouth, Trump continued.
“In fact, I bet that some of them probably didn’t even have to die, not really,” Trump mused. “That’s right. I bet those 3,000 Puerto Ricans died on purpose, just to make me look bad!”
President Trump blamed the “fake news media and Crooked Hillary’s Democrats” for Puerto Rico death toll.
“The fake news media and Crooked Hillary’s Democrats got all up inside those peoples’ heads, telling them how bad I am. Quoting me verbatim and then showing people the results of my policies,” Trump said. “And I’m sorry, but Puerto Ricans look awfully Mexican-ish to me, and I think we can all agree that literally every Mexico-ish person hates me, with absolutely NO REASON to, so hair-go, you see I’m the victim here, and not the 3,000 dead Americans.”
This is a developing story.
James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPost, Alternative Science, Alternative Facts, Not Really.News, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals.
