Last week political theater reached new heights as 2016 Republican front runner Donald Trump sat down for an interview with former half-term Alaskan Governor and failed 2008 Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. A recent graduate of the Limbaugh-Ales School of Journalistical Integitrous Reporting-ocity, Palin put all her newly discovered talents for hard-hitting journalism on display, and was given quite a compliment when Trump told her that she was “a terrific person.” Though most of the mainstream media mocked both the idea of the interview, and the interview itself, those close to Ms. Palin said she was most disappointed that she forgot to ask nine of her most important and finely crafted interview questions.

The Political Garbage Chute obtained a copy of the forgotten interview questions, and have decided to present them to our readers verbatim, from Ms. Palin’s own notes.

1. Which country would you invade first: Iran, Iraq, Mexico, or Benghazi?

2. Do you really think America is ready for a a dumb, vapid, arrogant, anti-intellectual attention whore as its president, and if so is it too late for me to enter the race? 

3. Are the gays too uppity these days?

4. Why does my phone make a repetitive noise every time someone is trying to reach me on it?

5. How many different countries can you see from your house?

6. Why can’t I put my head in the microwave to warm myself up on a cold Alaskan night?

7. Will you sign an executive order requiring all preschool teachers be armed?

8. Do you agree that this was and always will be a Christian nation?

9. Where do babies come from? Because I need to tell Bristol so she’ll stop having them.